I get up. I walk. I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing

I received this card today from a family friend out of the blue and I’m taking it as a sign that God is always listening.

“Life is hard sometimes, crazy, mixed up, messed up. And there you are, in the middle of it all just doing your thing, being strong and brave and beautiful like it’s no big deal. But let me tell you, it is. Not everyone can do what you can do. Not everyone can handle things the way you can. While you wonder sometimes if you’re doing ok…the rest of us are just watching in wonder.”

This past week has been difficult. School started and I love the kids and everything about it but this coming week I start teaching PE. And I’ve been thinking, how is what I’m going to be doing going to help these children. I didn’t sign up to be a full time PE teacher but that’s what I’m being thrown in to. It’s been hard and I’m extremely nervous. I don’t know how to teach PE! I want to be doing something I’m comfortable doing, and that’s definitely not teaching PE! But that’s what I’m doing and I’m going to make the best of it. I was talking with my roommate when I was upset and complaining about what I’m doing and how its not how I want to help these kids and she said “What do these kids need, really what do they need”. They need someone to look up to. Someone who supports them and is there for them day in and day out. And that’s what I’m going to be doing. I’m there for them no matter what, even if I’m teaching PE.

I’ve been praying to God for a sign that things will get better. This weekend was full of signs that I’m here for the right reason and that things will get better. This past weekend we went to Cape May. It was a much needed weekend at the beach, even though we were volunteering; we still had some down time to relax. I just needed time out of Kensington. I needed sometime to just sit and listen to the ocean. I had time this weekend to think about how I’m doing the right thing. I’ll be there for these kids, every single day. One of the sisters told us that “you may be the only face of Jesus these kids see”. Its true and is something that has stuck with me from the day she said it. During the homily at mass last night, the priest said this quote from Rabbi Hillel that goes “I get up. I walk. I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing”. No matter what brings me down and no matter how many times I feel as though I cant do it, I just got to keep dancing. If not for myself then for the kids. When I got home from Cape May today, the card from my family friend was waiting for me. A sign that I’m doing okay and that things will get better.

“Be strong and let your heart take courage, all you who hope in the lord.” Psalm 31:24 NSAB

peace and love

Katie